Question: Private vow reaffirmation okay or still a no-no?

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Answer #1:

that sounds fine as long you keep it private like you said. i dont see anything wrong with it at all.

Answer #2:

You are renewing your not only your marriage vows but are vowing to be a family.

It would be a great chance for all of you to bond together. The family weekend sounds like fun too.

Do-overs are tacky. Your plans are anything but tacky. It seems to me that you are doing your best to have your step daughter feel like a welcome and important part of your family. It sounds lovely.

Answer #3:

Charming idea; utterly kind and sweet -- and, quite frankly, nobody's business but your own.

Other, of course, than to offer you their best wishes, which I do indeed. May you all -- children included -- be very happy.

Answer #4:

WOW - you are an amazing step mom to be thinking of your step daughter in such a thoughtful way. But, you have to be careful to make sure that she doesn't have any negative feelings. She could try to hide her true feelings to make dad happy so be sure that when you ask her you are getting the truth. I mean, how does she really feel about her mother? If I were your step daughter and I loved you and thought it was a wonderful situation - then sure. But, most step kids have a certain affection for their real mother and an attachment to the people who conceived them in such a way that becoming a step child is not something they want to celebrate. But, if she really loves her dad - it could be hard to determine how much of what she says is true. Most of the time, you can tell more about how a young person feels by their non-verbal reactions than their words. It's not her answer to your question - but how she gives you an answer and the look on her face that counts. If she is feeling negative or resentful in anyway about your marriage or relationship - then you might want to drop the vow reaffirmation part and just do the family vacation weekend and see how things go. It really depends on your relationship with her. It depends on how well you know her and if she truly likes you. I'd say it is very very rare to have a step child so happy about your marriage that she would enjoy a vow reaffirmation ceremony to include her. I don't know why she couldn't be there the first time, but you don't want to do this if - there was an excuse made up so that she couldn't be there because it was going to be highly uncomfortable for her. There are alot of considerations.

Answer #5:

I think thats a beautiful idea.

Answer #6:

This is in no way, shape, or form a tasteless "do over" situation (and I do think there are some rare occassions where even a "do over" is OK -- such as running to a JOP when one of the couple is about to be deployed in the military and might not come home to have a wedding that had been in the plans).

I think you idea is wonderful and especially in good taste to let the stepdaughter decide if that is important to her.

Answer #7:

Oh my....this sounds very lovely and definitely not a "do over" as so many brides want. Why? Because it is just "family" as you said. No gifts. No invites. No big poofy dress, etc., etc.

It sounds like a very nice celebration and I hope your stepdaughter will be pleased with it. Go for it.

Good luck and congratulations on your recent marriage.





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